We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Congratulations! We have a period
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