he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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