What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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