Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
