Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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