He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she told me i tasted like america
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
