she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize