im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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