I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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