if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
