she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
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Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
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I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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