I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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