my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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