I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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