I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
