His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize