if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
