OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
