what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
