so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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