Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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