I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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