i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
