I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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