Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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