You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
