we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize