Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
