So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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