he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
