all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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