this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My breasts were aching with rage.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
