My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
