im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
