So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my being single is dangerous.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
