how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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