ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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