apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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