now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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