Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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