You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
