It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
