I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
