That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
