the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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