1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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