I just cut my nipple shaving
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i've created a new STD.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
