Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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