There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
