That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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