that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I need a burrito and a hug.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
