Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
