bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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