Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
