Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
