these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
