YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
