Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
