he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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