suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
