wakey wakey hands off snakey
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
